Problems and Solutions
Problems:
When you have a problem, keep asking why why why.
Q: How do I keep promises and go to planned events?
If you've decided to cancel events, you're either too tired or you have skin issues.
A: Don't make plans before
Don't pack your schedule with plans. Have a day or two in between to rest.
If you need to cancel, explain to them why, and don't feel guilty about it.
Sleep early, eat well, exercise, drink lots of water.
Q: What do I do about breakouts before period?
A: It is natural and is inevitable. Don't make plans before
Q: How do I stop stalking?
A: I think you're still haunted and guilty of the way you left him, and you want to know if he still cares.
Know that while your action was just unreasonable and despicable, it was inevitable considering your situation and mental health at the time. Be grateful about what it's taught you.
Also, don't be solitary when idle, and don't be idle when solitary.
Q: How do I stop being
Q: How do I stop being so scared about the future?
Q: How do I stop being so financially fickle?
A: Use Monelize to organize your spending. Don't buy another book until you've finished reading all the books you have right now.
Q: How do I sleep early?
When I get home late, I tend to go to bed very late, making it difficult to wake up the next day. When you get home, don’t touch your phone and finish everything that needs to be done.
Q: How do I stop the itchiness?
Apply pro topic. As an immediate remedy, cool it with an ice pack.
Q: How do I control emotions?
1. Take a deep breath and stay calm. If you can’t control it, you’re probably really tired so rest. Remember what being emotional has cost you.
2. Try to find out why you’re having this emotion
3. Write the problem & solution.
It takes energy to control emotions, so release your emotions when with close friends and at home alone. Anywhere else, arm yourself with controlled emotions.
Having emotions makes you attractive and different, so be careful about when you decide to express emotions.
Controlling emotions comes with tremendous practice, so don't expect it to come in like a week.
Q: What should I do when being strategic and calm prevents you from being strategic?
When you’re overtly showing your strategic and calculating side, then people are definitely going to realize it, making it difficult for them to trust you. If they don’t trust you, then it makes it harder to carry out your goal.
Being authentic and kind, but always remaining calm and turning your brain on is important. The balance between calculation and authenticity is so important.
Q: How do I stop reminiscing?
I think you’ve already tried hard to stop stalking the man but you can’t. I recommend you try hard to get back at him by succeeding and going to China. Possibly getting involved with Baixian. So, study hard and work hard.
Q: What do I do about my brother being an absolute douchebag to me?
It’s very awkward when I meet him at the house. It’s extremely difficult to control emotions when I’m at home because it’s so filled with emotional and unreasonable people. But it’s a good place to practice controlling it.
He is stressed out because of job hunting and doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t be kind enough to give him my room when he has never done anything remotely kind to me. I have successfully gotten my room back, but it’s very awkward when I encounter him at home.
I think I should just leave him alone and wait until he leaves. Don’t listen when he tells you how much of a bitch you are - there is no benefit of listening to him. He’s family, but there is no point in wasting energy on someone who has shown nothing but hate to you your whole life.
Q: How do I know when to listen to people’s criticism of me?
If you open yourself to every single criticism you receive, then you’re going to break. It’s superbly important to filter what to take in.
If someone criticizes you, think about this:
- Do you agree with it?
- Say you follow what the person says. Does the person take responsibility for your change?
Lets say someone told you to change something about yourself. Will the person give you something if you’ve changed that part of yourself? If no, then don’t listen.
Q: How do I stop being so scared about the future?
Why am I afraid? Because I am not prepared; I haven’t thought about which company I want to apply to because I haven’t researched anything.
1. Start with research. → take at least an hour a week to research industries, companies, etc
2. Write down about your core interests and what your value is.
3. Write down your achievements in uni.
Q: How do I hold myself when I feel tremendous pressure to change myself?
Shuhan told me a story about all the stupid and useless manners we have to follow once we become 社会人。it’s so important to hold yourself while conforming to the rules.
Always have time to reflect on yourself at the end of the day. Always know that you’re absolutely free. You have the power and choice to make any decision you want to (you have to be responsible for the outcomes too). Be confident that you survived horrible atopy attack and two depressions.
Q: How do I stop being late?
Today, I was almost gonna be late to the baito which you just can’t be late to because I just cannot manage time well.
Make a rigid schedule of what you’re gonna do the next day. Follow it.
Prioritize the tasks.
Remember that you can't do everything in a day.
Q: How do I not have breakdown?
Today, I had a little breakdown because my heart was beating a little too fast and I was obviously overwhelmed. Let's go over what you did today.
You had 5 hours of sleep, woke up early, took the train but got off to pee and had to get on a really crowded one. You had your first period; you edited your friends' ES. You then had global leadership class, where you led the discussion. You tried to be yourself, trying to be indifferent to others. You had to go to health check up. You had to have a presence on social media. You were just super overaroused today.
How do I prevent this? So, the answer only lies in taking a break.
- have at least 7 hours of sleep
- Take a 5 minute break and meditate every two hours.
- When overwhelmed, sleep in Okuma garden.
- When you're still overwhelmed, drink camomile tea in the university cafe or starbucks.
- Write down what you've accomplished today in order to recognize that you're diligently working hard.
- Keep your phone on airplane mode and check every two hours
Q: How do I keep my humanity in this ruthless world?
When I meet people and take classes, I feel like I am losing my humanity little by little. Because I try so hard not to be influenced by others (since I’m so sensitive) and it’s so hard for a woman to hold herself, I close my self off from the world.
It’s necessary for me to succeed, and fulfill my goal.
But then I feel as though I’m losing touch with my more humane, creative, loving side.
- Watch TED talk every morning to be inspired.
Q: How to not go to dinner but be good friends with the circle members?
It's a custom to go to dinner together after meeting, and I know it's a good place to get to know each other on a deeper level. But having gone to dinner yesterday, I just feel so uncomfortable and it is a very self-deprecating experience.
I had to listen to people go on about boy problems that remind me of him. Especially there was one guy who just does not treat his woman right. Even though it's completely none of my business, I felt so hurt and sorry for the girl. And being with people -insincere people- for such a long time really overarouses me. I honestly do not want to go to dinner. But it's a good place to socialize.
I think I shouldn't go every week -go when you feel like going. And, if you happen to go, go home at a time where you can get home by 10. Don't stay too long. Save yourself.
Q: How do I stop being jealous of other people?
When you're jealous of someone, that person has accomplished something you want to do, and you think you could have done it. The feeling of jealousy actually reveals your deepest desire. If you can do something about it, then do it. If you dont feel like doing anything, then just let it go.
For example, I am jealous of her because she has gone to masters in prestigious Asian universities, she is stunning, and she is outgoing.
I really want to study in prestigious Asian universities as well and to see her do that, I'm very envious. She must have worked very hard for it. For me, I really want to study in Asia because I'm interested in that region. I've taken classes and joined a seminar that is related to the region. I wanted to go study abroad, but it overlaps with job hunting period. People say, you can get a job anytime in your life, but I don't feel like I'm prepared to just renounce my job hunting and go just because other people are going. I feel like I have to be trained in the seminar, acquire knowledge, and deepen understanding of Asia first before taking any action. Am I justifying my inaction? But it's so stressful to take such great risk and challenge myself. I just want to keep doing what I've decided to do and see how it turns out right now. Taking risk just puts so much stress on me, I don't think I can do it.
Okay. It's a very common theme that people get jealous of others' beauty. I think for me to be jealous of her beauty, I am just insecure. I am so insecure about my face, body, everything. I get rashes and pimples when I'm stressed, I have acne scars still, and my body is full of scars from battling with atopy. But let's think like this. My skin's vulnerability reveals something very good about myself. First, it reveals that I am a highly sensitive person. Many HSPs are physically sensitive, so it reacts to the smallest stressor in the environment. However, because we are sensitive, we can be aware of the incredible beauty around us that others do not usually notice. Therefore, my rashes and pimples and the scars that come with it prove my ability to appreciate nature and its beauty. Second, the fact that despite all the skin issues and scars I am living here and giving to others is something to be proud of. I have battled unbelievable suffering, and sometimes won, and sometimes lost. But the important thing here is that I haven't killed myself, and I am here, on this earth, to keep fighting. The scars are the testament of my strength, resilience and courage. Wear it like an honourable badge.
I want to be outgoing but I just get overwhelmed when I am in contact with people. There's literally nothing I can do about it, and I am proud of myself for who I am.
You are brave enough that you are still alive. Despite all the sufferings you have gone through, you have not ended your life. That is the greatest accomplishment.
Q: How do I stop being too majime?
This is a very practical concern because I want a boyfriend but I am just too majime to flirt with anybody. Please help.
少し遊び心を持って人生に臨んだ方がいいね。肩の力抜いて。いいなと想う人がいたらめっちゃアプローチするといいね。
Q: How do I do everything I wanna do?
I know you're curious and such but you obviously can't do everything you want to do. As Shuhan said, you have to prioritize your tasks.
1. Health
2. SCHOOL WORK
3. future planning
4. relationship
5. circle
this requires meticulous planning and willpower.
