辛い。辛すぎる。 まず、決めたこと、 継続 コミュ力高める 1. ゼミ 2. 就活 3. バイト 4. にっこり 5. M&M 6, 個別の人間関係 見られていることを意識する 考えるのは好きだが、それを言語化して話すことが本当に苦手だ。これまで避けてきたがやはり就活す…

I need to keep journaling to keep my thoughts organized. I really need to work on self-acceptance, being more insensitive and continuity. I just cannot say anything during the seminar because I am afraid of being wrong. I just hyperventila…

昨日ビデオを見て、自分の食べ方がいかに品がないか知った。これからはちゃんと食べることを心がけたい。 ニキビ跡ひどいし、色黒だし、ガニ股だし、いいところないじゃん、って思っちゃう。痩せてるし。目が怖いし。 気の合う友達に会う時以外はもう猫被っ…

朝また不安を感じながら起きた。 就活出遅れた感があって本当に不安だが、やはりもうやるしかないのでポジティブに行こうと思う。ネガティブになってくよくよするのは時間の無駄だし非生産的である。ロードマップとしては、 1) 本を読み終わる 2) 自己分析→…

ストレスを感じている。ニキビが口の横と眉の上にできてる。笑 ストレスがある証拠。ここ数週間ストレスなしでいけたのに、最近またストレスでもうダメ。 私はストレス耐性が全くない人間だと思う。大学受験の時も入院したし、少しストレスを感じるだけで体…

不安が続く。毎朝不安で押しつぶされそうになる。 勉強、就活、彼氏に嫌われないかで押しつぶされそう。辛い。 これからは安定、コツコツを心がけたい。自分はやりたいことがコロコロ変わったり、不安定だから、それを克服するためにとりあえず何かやろう。 …

出来事 PwC Sustainabilityを受けて、受かったが、将来のことを考えず衝動的に行動してしまった。忙しくなることが分かっていたのに、断りきれずにオッケーをしてしまった。衝動的にさきさんにメッセージをし、CFでの関係を悪くしてしまった。結局、PwCも落…

You might be ADHD. you're forgetful, you're impulsive. When you do something, think about it at least a week before doing it. When you feel guilty, take it in, but don't prolong it.

Problem. I decided to not feel any stress anymore. 1. i feel guilty about leaving. dude, nobodys gonna care. if they say no, just stay, cancel the pwc. if they say yes, do pwc. but like don't take it seriously. leave it be. 2. excited abou…

UGH. Not again, not again, not again, I am NEVER EVER going back to it, I swear to God, I do not want to go through it anymore. I simply will not. I will withdraw. No more of this. I do not want to repeat this toxic behavior. NO! That's wh…

Hey Riho! It's been another week :) Days pass very quickly and before I know it, it's already summer vacation and I'm in a third year of university. I don't know what I've accomplished so far. In hindsight, I was very busy trying to just s…

2019.07.30 今日は簿記の試験がある日だけど、何も勉強せず、ずっと家にいる。なぜか疲労が激しく、何も集中できない。一単位落とすことになる。すごい罪悪感がある。自分がコツコツやればよかったのに、やらないでこういう形になってしまった。11月のリアル…

2019/07/23 Hello Riho！！！ So today I had an exam for international Trade on the first period. I literally started preparing for it like a week before and I was too lazy to study for it yesterday. Well, I literally died. So the professor …

this is the end. I will stop stalking him in every social media. You will not go back to him, and he will not come back to you. He rejected you. You gave him a chance. He doesn't care about you. He didn't flinch about an idea of us never s…

The past few weeks have been the most stressful and dreadful EVER. I loathed myself, my self-esteem was low, I didn't believe in myself, I was lethargic, I didn't feel like doing anything, and I had absolutely no motivation to do anything …

I am fucking lost. FUcking confused and I don't know what I'm doing with my goddamn life. I have an interview tomorrow but I havent prepared for it at all. I have shit tons of exams coming up i havent prepared for. fuck. fuck

I realized im a drama queen. woah. thats so true. ill stop making drama out of everything and be calm. try to continue what i've started. avoid drama. keep calm.

The reason why I can't continue it is because I am just too tired everyday. I do too much. And I am lonely. But I like my internship and I want to continue it. I need to earn money to you know stay alive. I want to continue studying. i wan…

LET'S DO THIS. TODAY I AM GOING TO FINISH BOKI, KEIRYOU, AND INTERNATIONAL TRADE. if i have time, im gonna do the taiwan thing. but above three, I will finish it. watch me... The distance between now and your dream is ACTION.

So, I decided not to apply for QUNIE because I do not have time to study for the web-test. If I do horribly on the test, then I might not be able to get in next year. I think I can try next year. I want to focus on studying for now.

Keep smiling!! It will lighten up your mood.

I'm chasing my dream now. It's difficult; I feel like giving up all the time, nobody understands me, and I don't even know if I can achieve it. But I know it's worth it and I will keep chasing it. Maybe I won't be able to achieve it. But I…

I’m barely making it. Everyday is a battle that has no end. I have to keep fighting -no matter what it takes, no matter what people say, I will keep fighting. Even when people shit on me, make me feel worthless, I shan’t give up. I decided…

I’m trying to reflect back on what I did today. I woke up early to go to work -it’s never easy. I’m usually extremely sleepy in the morning and it’s very difficult to fight the sinking feeling. I don’t have energy to utter words. I wish I …

It’s getting more and more difficult to feel good or optimistic about life. I’ve literally tried all I could but it’s not looking good. But I guess I gotta keep going. At least I have a dream. And because of that dream I can work hard, no …

The vitality. The energy and comfort I feel in the campus Asia class is just immense. What is wrong? Why am I feeling like this?

The seminar by the CEO of QUNIE was beyond inspiring and it gave me confidence that what I’m doing now -or struggling to do now is all worth it. I’m not wrong. I am not strange. I am not stupid. I’m doing what needs to be done. I realize I…

Wonderful few hours adventuring and having deep talk with my best friend. I love her. Talkjng to her, I know my decisions are not wrong. I am certain that I should just pursue what I want to pursue, no matter what other people say. I need …

I feel like once my life settles down a bit and I read these blogs again, it’s fonna be really funny how stressed I was lol. But for now I’m very stressed and I deserve to put my feelings into words. I’ve once again realized the amazing ef…

Today was the due date for the report. it is the shittiest report i have written in a long time. i know i will get horrible grade and feedback but i am willing to accept it. this week has been too busy. i know i should be better scheduled.…