2019/10/15
I need to keep journaling to keep my thoughts organized.
I really need to work on self-acceptance, being more insensitive and continuity.
I just cannot say anything during the seminar because I am afraid of being wrong. I just hyperventilate and become completely mute because I am so nervous. But, I need to be able to say it. I am going to think of the professor and other people as mere potatoes, and even if they negate me, well you're only going to be better. Nobody really cares about you that much. Have yourself and do not be afraid to say what you think. You don't have to say the right thing. There's no right answer. It's more rude to say nothing because it means you were not listening.
The thing is that I can say what I want in English, but I'm not confident about my Japanese, so I cannot say anything. Think as if you are speaking in English.
①Accept yourself.
②Write down what you think or want to say.
③Act! Do it.
Next class, say something.
Accepting Myself
Accept the ugly, selfish, sensitive, dual, straight person you are. 自己評価で生きる。他の人にどう思われたっていいじゃん！自分が納得できて、良いと思えば良いじゃん。
自分を受け入れないと、他人を受け入れられない。自信がないと何もうまくいかない。
1. Make a list of your top 10 values and why they're important to you.
1. Being kind and understanding to others
2. Not being bound by rules
3. Working hard to achieve your goal
4. Being of good use to society
5. Intelligence. Intellectual curiosity
6. Trying new & different things
7. Beautiful things. Jewelry, art, fashion
8. Being natural and honest.
9. Having my own, quiet time to myself
10. Loyalty
2. Write down qualities that make you unique
1. Accepting of difference -very flexible
2. Kind & caring to everyone
3. Courageous
4. Proficient in English
5. Creative
6. Beautiful
7. Not very judgmental
8. Does her shit without excuses
9. 底力ある. You managed to make a bad presentation look super amazing with just like five hours.
10. Resilient. You came back from the dead.
3. Speak your truth
4. Be in the moment
5. Find inspirational role models to look up to
Gaby
The McKinsey lady. The most beautiful person I've seen inside and out. JICA, JBIC, McKinsey
Kewpie guy (Ueda san)
That being said, continuity is the key. Get up, do what you gotta do everyday. Today, I'll do rewrite, finish statistics literacy, and send out the letters. That'll probably take up the whole day. If you have time left, do developmental economics review.
Good day!
Honestly, I care a lot about what the professor thinks, but I really don't agree with her perspective on this world. So who cares what she thinks. Who cares if she doesn't think you succeed or be respected in the future. I hope I won't have to see her in the future. I am not going to be in contact with her in the future, so I really don't have to impress her. I'm not going to be a baribari career woman that she so much respects, and I'm probably not going to be able to live up to her expectations. So why bother? Just do your own thing and ignore her.
