jealousy

I wonder why I'm like this.

There are people -girls- so perfect out there. Smart, beautiful, kind, hardworking, while I'm disappointing my parents and not being able to do basic tasks. So sensitive and always crying. 

But I shouldn't compare myself to others.

我ただ足るを知る。

If I have time to do that, I should start taking action:

actually doing job hunting, respecting my parents, doing basic tasks, being kind to others. 

If I have people around me that I love and I'm doing the best I can at whatever I'm doing, I'll be okay. Being jealous and always looking upward will just make me unhappy and miserable. 

I know my depression and hospitalization and difficult experience will bear fruit in the future.