mentally ill

I had a major mental breakdown due to some things happening in my life and my mental illness.

Me being socially awkward.

Me overthinking and insecurity.

My boyfriend making me worry.

Its these three problems intertwined.

I have isolated myself socially and I just don't know how social life works. I'm pretty confused by the whole situation.

I tend to fixate on one thing and I overthink even if I don't know it's happened yet. And me being insecure, I don't want to see him interact with other females because I have no confidence that he likes me. I don't understand why he likes me.

My boyfriend's colleagues are all beautiful accomplished women, and he talks to them constantly online and it's making me crazy. because I'm so insecure. and he followed some girl, and he didn't tell me about meeting her.

He wouldn't tell me about things. I want our relationship to be open, being able to talk about whatever happens in our life. And I've told him that before but he's not telling. 

I think I just miss him and it's comin out the wrong, wrong way.