5/15

😫身体中が痒い。

→ステロイド塗ろう

😫 extreme insecurity and jealousy. 
it is so hard, but let's practice thinking that the only person you should be better than is the person you were yesterday. Don't let this get to you and make you ugly. 

😫親嫌

→怒鳴らないで欲しい。怒鳴るな、怒鳴らないで。あと二週間！！❣️

❣️机片付けた

❣️外行けた

❣️泊まり断れた

❣️Encounter with Sayuri, knowing that she's INFP, her telling other people I'm her best friend, it's exhilarating. I feel like I met someone that understands me. It's a new level of understanding for her and me. I feel that I'm good the way I am - quiet, awkward, shy, artsy, antisocial, but strong on the inside. An independent lady. 
Teleworking, surrounded by people I dislike, I get negative thoughts in my head, and I lash out, and it comes out on my skin, like a rash. 

I don't want to control anymore. I don't want to win anymore I don't want to compete anymore I don't want to stress anymore. 
I've damaged the relationship with mh mom to the point where it is beyond repair. This isn't entirely my fault but we need distance to fix this. 

I just don't want to feel anymore. It's sad. I just want to be happy, alone, no interruptions, just me and my art.