not my responsibility

5/6 

My father is a fucking piece of shit. I could just end by saying that but I guess it’s more complicated than this. 

I know he’s been in a terrible mood for months now. Maybe he’s in a position where he has to bear a lot of responsibility. But he is an adult -you gotta fix your own mood. It definitely doesn’t justify Being a complete asshole to your family who has absolutely done nothing. I don’t know if it willl get better. But it’s definitely not my responsibility to make him feel better. I should keep my distance away from him for a while. Thanks for an amazing golden week you little piece of crap. I’m not fucking backing down. You all shits shot me down, trampled on me, and used me. But I will always be resilient. You can’t put me into my place. I’ll fucking retaliate. Watch. Being an empath, HSP, whatever you call it -I feel everything. When someone’s stressed, it gets to me on a spiritual level. I’m not letting anyone fuck me up anymore. Fuck you all. 

Why do I have to experience this. I guess there are people who have it worse, but that doesn’t alleviate my suffering. I just gotta never back down and always try to be better. No more depression, no more crying, no more depending on a fucking shit. Fuck off. 

All you men who fucking let me down, this is a declaration for you. I’ll fuck you all up and make you feel sorry for shitting on me. You said I couldn’t do something blah blah blah, but I fucking will. I will fucking do it and you’ll fucking regret not having kept me. 

Just believing it will get better won’t do anything. You have to consciously make it better by taking actions. You need to shape your own path. 

OK. Realizing that i really don’t have time to brood over some random man who treated you like shit a few months ago. I have so much to do to achieve my goal of working in East Asia and saving the fucking planet. 

It really made me happy when I got to see Qing San. He’s so cute. I don’t even care if I get to I put with him. I’m excited to spend time with him to plan for the gasshuku.